What story are you writing?

We all crave a good story, just like we crave a good life.  After all, what is a life but a story: a narrative that includes a plot, characters, some sort of crisis, and some sort of potential resolution.

Think about the components of a great story.  It has to have a plot.  It has a protagonist.  It has a villain.  It has a huge crisis or problem that needs to be overcome.  It involves some sort of journey of identity on the part of the protagonist ... forcing her to go through something she otherwise would have not, and through those extraordinary circumstance to emerge a different person.  The characters have to face their fears with extraordinary amounts of courage.  Most of the time something is at stake... maybe even death ... that's what makes the story so interesting.  Most of the time there is some sort of romance, the hero that discovers a love that makes the battles worth fighting and the adventures worth undergoing.

A question that has haunted me ever since I read this absolutely fantastic book two years ago is this one: "am I living a good story?"  
Are you?  Here's some questions I've been asking myself lately to help me live a better story:

• Are you fighting a battle that's worth fighting? 
• Are you pursuing a love that makes it worth it? 
• Are you confronting your fears or are you submitting to them? 
• Are you striving towards purpose or are you coasting towards complacency? 
• Are you risking anything at all? 
• Does the life that you're living parody the dreams that you're dreaming? 
• Are you creating anything or are you consuming everything? 
• Most of all: are you living for a larger Story than your story?  

What do you really want?

Once upon a time there was a friend of mine who was really attracted to this girl.  By the way he would talk, it seemed that he truly believed that if he were in a relationship with this girl he would be completely happy, and no matter what other bad things were going on in his life, the fact that this particular girl was with him in a relationship would enable him to endure any hardship.

He asked her out.  She said yes.  They dated for awhile.  She lost interest.  He held on, thinking having her was the fulfillment of ultimate desire... it pushed her away, and he lost her.  He came over to my apartment when it happened.  I'll never forget what he said: "you know, I legitimately thought that (this girl) was what I really wanted, but now that I've lost her I'm realizing that it is something else entirely that I want, and by making her my ultimate pursuit I was using her in my relentless pursuit of the other thing..."  


Have you ever had a desire for something and spent lots of energy trying to pursue that thing only to realize later that it wasn't that thing that you desired but something else?  Maybe you thought you wanted a job, but when you strip away all the 'company lines,' you realized that what you really wanted was the status that came from the job?  Have you ever thought you wanted a relationship, but what you really wanted was the security that comes from being in a relationship?

Its what caused Alexander the Great, after conquering all of the known world, to sit down on a rock facing the Mediterranean and weep over the lack of worlds left to conquer.  Its what led reporters to find John Elway during his first Super Bowl win to be found alone in his hotel room during all the festivities, and the only reason he could give was "now that I've won the Super Bowl, now what?"

I often wonder if this world was wired for disappointment, but not the bad kind of disappointment: the kind that keeps us from pursuing good things as ultimate things; the kind that wrestles us into gratitude for the joys and pleasure that come and go.  And could it be that it is not merely a design flaw but a designed flaw...a glitch wired by God into the system ... that our disappointments are really some sort of divine compass to point us to a true Source and Fountain of all desire... sometimes I wonder ...

So ask this question with me today: "I think I want (you-fill-in-the-blank), but what I really want is (you-fill-in-the-blank)."   Can you say that about anything in your life?

You've Got to Bring It.

There's a lot of different ways of saying this idea: showing up, going all out, going for broke, being all there.  My favorite way of saying it is: BRINGING IT.

Have you ever heard a great public speaker who 'brought it' ?  Or have you ever had a teacher or a professor who "brought it" every day?  It seemed like they were fully prepared, fully passionate, and fully present.  Their material was intelligent, humorous, and clear.

These people are truly unique breeds: The moment they enter a room there is a gravity there with them and they have the kind of reputation where there is a sense of expectation in the air...that important conversations are going to happen, that decisions are going to be made, that people are going to be challenged, and that being in that person's presence is going to inspire everyone to be a better person.

That's what 'bringing it' is all about... being fully present, energetic, and alive in the midst of other people.  Devoting yourself wholly to connecting with them, even if it is just one on one.  Bring your passion, your best, your attention to every opportunity you have to connect with others, whether its as a public speaker or one-on-one over coffee.  Manage your energy level...if you don't have the energy to bring it, do what you need to do to recharge before connecting with others.

Every conversation you have is an opportunity to serve and love people and in doing so to have a lasting impact on their lives.  People deserve your best.

Bring it!

The Things That Might Have Been

The older I get the more I realize that "motivation" is really an illusion.  The conversation usually goes something like this: you'll hear someone say "I really want to do (blank), but I'm just not motivated," or "if I really wanted to, I could (blank)."  You fill in the blanks.

Run a marathon.  Write a book.  Start a business.  Record an album.  Apply for your dream job.

"Unmotivated" is simply a more culturally sanitary word for "lazy."  Motivation comes when you choose to take a first step.  Its why I've been blogging every day.  Because some day I'd like to write a book, and every great writer I know will say that the only way to get better is to WRITE!  A LOT!

If you wait around until your "motived," life will pass you by.  So what is keeping you from the undone things in your life?  The unactualized dreams?  The unwritten pages?  The unspoken words?  The unsung songs?  The unplayed music?

There's a book I read a long time ago called the Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews, in which a business man has a dream where is taken to a room after he dies.  The room is filled with all sorts of things, computers, gadgets, instruments, bottles filled with medication, etc.  His guide then gives him the chilling secret of this room: it is filled with the things that might have been, if the people who had lived those lives had actually acted upon their ideas.  In the middle of the room on a pedestal is a folder.  The man asks his guide, an angel of sorts, what this folder is, to which the angel replies "that is the cure for cancer."

Eternity will only tell the things that we all were capable of but never decided to act upon.

Stop waiting around for 'motivation' to magically appear.  Show up, daily.  Choose to work.  Get stuff done.  I believe that I, you, and we, are far more capable of what we think we are...

The Twitter Gospel.

Okay, so to be fair today's post isn't original.  It's definitely been said elsewhere.  I read a post from this blog (which is a fantastic blog by the way) and I haven't been able to stop thinking about this idea.

Social media is the language of the next generation.

We live in a Twitter world.  I have a friend with whom I send things that I write for him to read it over and give me his feedback.  He is always telling me to shorten things.  People don't want to read long paragraphs.  They want short, quick summaries.  They want sound bites.  In other words, if you can't say it in 250 characters or less, then its not worth saying... that's what he said to me exactly.

This is hard for me because I like to build long complex arguements.  I like to have well-developed ideas.  I like to build a case for something.  I like to use words like a painter uses his palette.  But if I truly want to communicate anything, according to my friend, I need to condense.  I need to say more by saying less.

This has profound implications for teachers, communicators, educators, and those who seek to pass on knowledge to the next generation.  The challenge is that if we want to capture the attention of a generation of students that is glued to Call of Duty, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, World of Warcraft, we may have to shorten the message!

It poses a curious question for myself and other Christians with the 'message' that we are trying to pass: if you had to 'tweet' the Gospel, the core message of Christianity, in 140 characters or less, how would you do it?  That's right... if you only had one 'tweet' to pass on the Gospel message of God's saving grace in Jesus Christ on to the next generation, what would you say?  I believe that the message of Jesus can transform people whether 140 characters or 140 pages.  Its that powerful.

I'm still working on mine.  Here's what I've got so far:

"God sacrificed his perfect son for our imperfections, and raised him from the dead so that we can be made perfect and complete in Him."


What about you?  If you could summarize the core message of your life in 140 characters or less, what would it be?  And If you're a Christian: how would you communicate the gospel of Jesus in 140 characters or less?

How to Choose a Church.

Title caught you, didn't it?  The word 'church' in our culture means 'local religious non-profit business' (I'll call them LRNPBs from now on) that has a staff, a facility, a building, and a budget.  Technically there is only one Church, and its not a business, its the collective community of people who follow Jesus and do his work in the world.

But for the sake of being interesting and relevant, out of the thousands of options of 'local religious non-profit businesses' to which you can go on Sundays to worship, how do you even start?

Often I have heard one of the main reasons that people choose one LRNPB to worship at over another is because they "feel like they get something out of it" or they "feel spiritually fed," but what they really often mean is that they liked or preferred one particular style or aspect of the service (like the music or the preaching).  So "feeling spiritually fed," in my opinion is an undependable criteria for selecting a LRNPB.  So is great music.  So is fantastic preaching.  Its all preference.  As a guy who has worked at LRNPBs for six years, here's some questions I like to ask when choosing a little-c church, in no particular order of importance:

1.  Is the environment contagious or average? Another way of saying this is are you proud enough of the experience that you would invite your friends and family?  Were you welcome there?  Were the people warm and friendly or unengaging and disconnected?  Did someone greet you?  Did you feel energy in the air and a sense of expectation?  If the environment isn't contagious, chances are you're not going to stay long, and you're not going to trust it enough to invite your friends.  Do people who are not Christians feel welcome there?

2.  Does the preacher talk about Jesus and preach the Bible?  Preaching/teaching that is truly and distinctly Christian will preach Jesus and the Gospel as the hope for men and women.  Topics are great and necessary, but if you go 6 months and all you talk about is marriage, finances, and 'inviting your friends to church,' and giving random proof-texts from all over the place to support their "applications", that church has lost sight of the Gospel which is the "power of God unto salvation."  Do you leave with a greater thirst for reading the Bible?  Do you leave with a greater sense of wonder about knowing Jesus better?

3.  Are you challenged to contribute, or invited to consume?  Where I live in Scottsdale, AZ, I am appalled by the number of people that jump from church to church.  We live in a culture of spiritual consumers who attend whatever church tickles their fancy or gives them their spiritual high or spiritual fix for the week.  The Church is not a place you go that exists for your benefit, it is something you are, and YOU exist to GO serve the world.  In my opinion, many times the fact that a church DOESN'T have everything you want might be the very reason YOU should stay so that YOU can lead it.

4.  Is raising up the next generation of young Christians a high value?  If a church is not focused on the younger generation, and not just in lip-service but as reflected in their budget, chances are they're more devoted to maintenance than mission.  Chances are they're more devoted to traditions than vision.  And let's be honest, if we don't win the next generation and train them up we have about 20 years until the church is dead.

5.  Are there LOTS of opportunities to connect and share life with others? People long for connection and relationships.  Is this a church filled with people who care about each other?

6.  Is this a church that serves?  Are there community missions projects?  Are there massive relief efforts?  Is this is a place that hurts people or that heals people?  Does the leadership have hearts that bleed for social justice issues that God's heart bleeds for?  Are the pastors compassionate or cold?

7.  Does this church SAY it does the above things, or does it actually DO them.  This one was added after a friend read my original post. :)

This is a short, by no means exhaustive list of things I look for in a healthy 'church.'

And here's the biggest reality that may negate everything I have just written... this is the wrong question to be asking in the first place.  


BE your definition of a 'healthy church.'  Live that way.  Stop looking for the perfect LRNPB.  It doesn't exist.  Commit to a community.  Contribute.  Serve.  Love.

But in the meantime, out of curiosity, what would you add to the list? :)

Miss. (part 2)

I'll be the second to admit, yesterday's blog post wasn't very inspiring or positive to put it lightly.  I had a friend let me know that it sounded kind of...condemning, which wasn't my intention at all.  I think the word 'sin'  has been culturally used in so many condemning settings and ways, that it is hard to use it without it being heard as an attack.

And to be fair, I was attacking.  But I wasn't attacking any person ... I was attacking this thing in us.  I'm tired of it.  I'm tired of sin, of addiction, of depression.  I'm tired of abuse, divorce, and neglect.  I'm tired of injustice, apathy, and atrophy.  I'm tired of hopelessness and despair.  I'm tired of selfishness, greed, lust, and bitterness.

Basically I'm tired of the world being sick.  One time two years ago I contracted a virus in my liver.  I could not go to work, and I had a perpetual fever of 102.  I was pretty much tied down to my couch for a good solid month.  One morning I woke up and I remember being so angry that I was still sick.  I was tired of being sick.

That's why I wrote yesterday about sin...because I am tired of satan, the bully of this world, pushing people around and using sin to dominate people's lives.  I'm tired of people becoming slaves to their own choices.

That's why I do what I do.  Because I believe that God has delivered a mortal blow to the power of sin in our world through the person of Jesus of Nazareth, that sin was dealt with violently at the cross, and that the benefits of this are directly accessible through faith.  I wrote about sin because so many people do not know that it no longer has power over them, and they don't have to continue living the way they are living.  I wrote about sin because even though its a theological word with a ton of baggage, its a spiritual reality that no practical advice, discipline, or psychology can explain, diagnose, or cure.